First of all, let's establish an understanding between us.
THESE are not "sugar" tongs.*
(Banana** Quarter for scale)
As you can clearly see, THESE are horseradish tongs***
I mention this
because we will be using horseradish tongs*** today
to prepare:
Marianne's
overly-complicated
but totally-worth-it
Cocktail Sauce <tm>
First,
using your horseradish tongs****,
scoop a lot of horseradish
into one of those little square dishes
that you stole from that hotel in Vegas that time
because you'd never seen anything like it before
and HAD to take home because, for goodness sake,
they sure charged you enough for the room
and for the spa treatments, didn't they?
What's one lousy little square dish?*****
Then... and this is vital...
squirt some ketchup into that bad boy,
and mix it together.
You heard me.
How much? I don't care.
You know what color your cocktail sauce should be,
YOU figure it out.
Now.. and remember without this step it doesn't work...
scoop it out of that bowl
with cold shrimp and eat it.
Eat it until it's all gone.
*Remind me to call someone "sugar tongs" at some point. That needs to happen. What up, there, sugar tongs?
**We didn't have any photogenic bananas. Apple? Nah. Tune in next time when Marianne cleans the years and years of built up tarnish off the sugar tongs.
*** or, if you are of the peasantry class, a SPOOOOOOOON!
**** Actually, they're named after whatever the heck I am using them for in the moment. A decade ago they were "lit charcoal for incense" tongs. That's a whole 'nother story.
***** And I KNOW I am not alone here, people. Don't look at me like that. Just get your one-of-those or get a sake cup or shotglass or something and just tong-shovel that thing about 1/3 full with prepared horseradish.
