Fractal

Fractal

there's a box in the closet
I fill with memories and gum wrappers
letters and ticket stubs
that crazy stick thing that guy mailed me one time
wedding albums
funeral cards
pictures from that camping trip with the fish smoking a cigarette
those friends from school
those other friends from that other school
baby blankets
and family.

it's purple, which means nothing.
I never go through it fully.

sometimes, if I have a notion
to drag out a _specific_ picture
or a _specific_ drawing
I will drag it out and open it
but only to find the thing
and when I am done
the thing goes back
the lid gets closed
and the box goes in the closet

new things go in sometimes
and the things that come out go right back in
old things stay in
they're resting
leave them be

So my dad sends me three DVDs
He had them made at Costco
slides he had converted
filling _three_ DVDs
from his childhood, my childhood
before I was born
family long gone
my parents younger than me
wait, isn't that the cabin
I remember that street
I remember these slides

As a girl I used to look at the slides
I would sneak them out
And use the hand held single slide viewef
crazy little thing. Backlit, magnifying lens, olive green
never forget that thing
then, after looking through a random few
of the hundreds of slides available
I would sneak the slides back
into Dad's box in his closet.

The one he never goes through fully

Until, one day, he did
Reliving and saving and remembering and creating
going through every slide
for months, he told me
a reassembling pieces
from the puzzle in the box from his closet
until he had chosen the special ones
only those slides
that would fill three DVDs

Because that's how you set those things free

Sauerkraut is comprised mainly of cabbage, salt, and violence

It's pretty common knowledge among nutrition-conscious folks that fermented foods are important to gut health. And gut health is important to attaining and maintaining a healthy gut. And boy howdy do I have a healthy gut - which is to say it's too big.

I'm working to remedy that. 

Since high school I have dropped 100 pounds only to gain it back.  TWICE. 

At the beginning of this year I proclaimed that I intend to lose 125 pounds. Here we are in September and I am 10 pounds into that goal. Yeah, I could be doing better than a pound a month, but I have a few factors working against me, such as (insert excuses here to cover up the fact that I have not prioritized weight loss).

So, small changes. I've given up alcohol, because those are empty calories that rack up WAY too easily. I've joined a gym with a pool so I can go swimming once or twice a week, and am following a 30 minute aqua workout routine weekly to start. Most importantly, the gym has child care. Wondering who will watch Q while I exercise was one of the excuses I let myself get away with for far too long. 

And I m making incremental dietary improvements. Including sauerkraut.

The thought of making sauerkraut at home was a little intimidating until... get this... I researched it. That's right, armed with knowledge I quashed both fear and excuses. 

As was written in the prophesy every motivational blurb about getting shit done, ever.

Turns out, all that is needed for sauerkraut is cabbage, salt, and the wherewithall to beat the ever loving snot out of all of it in a mixing bowl for 10-15 minutes. 

That's where my favorite kitchen implement comes in. Behold, the SHTOMPUS*, most holy of all kitchen gadgetry. No better way to work out pent up aggression than to unleash ungodly shtompus action on poor, unsuspecting vegetables.  Like cabbage, for instance.

---

• 1 head cabbage
• 1.5 tablespoons sea salt
• Clean glass jar 

Sure, you can add seasonings like caraway and celery seeds.  I didn't. 

Quarter the cabbage, remove the core, and slice the cabbage into thin strips.

Add the salt, let it sit for 10 minutes or so, and then start mashing the sweet bejesus out of it.  Then mash it some more. Mash it like it owed you money.

With the SHTOMPUS.**

Then cram it into the glass jar. push it down and cram more of it in there.  Then push it down some more. Nope, even more. More than that. Keep shoving it into the glass jar until you're fairly certain there's no more air in it.

Then push it down some more. Are you with me? SHOW NO MERCY TO THE CABBAGE.

Then when you are done... really, really done... top it off with brine, close it up, and store it in a cool dark place for about 3 days.

That's what the instructions said. Three days.

So, I'll see you in three days

*No, it's not a potato masher.  It's a "SHTOMPUS." it "SHTOMPS." 

** Also, a fairly decent upper arm workout if done purposefully

Protein Powder Smoothies

Most mornings, I have a protein shake for breakfast. This week I am adding a second protein shake for dinner while a friend and I do the full 30 Days to Healthy Living program. I've collected some recipes to jazz up the shakes!

I usually add 1 scoop of Fiber Boost and 1 packet of Digestion Plus Prebiotic/Probiotic to my morning shake. 

If you are enjoying two shakes a day, only add Fiber or Probiotics to one shake per day.  2 scoops of Arbonne Vanilla or Chocolate protein powder = 1 serving; 20g of vegan protein in each serving!

I haven't tried all of these yet. I'll probably have one regular and one jazzed up shake each day.

PRETTY IN PINK

2 scoops of Arbonne Vanilla Protein Powder + 1 scoop of Arbonne Fiber Boost

Splash of pure cranberry juice

1 handful strawberries and raspberries (fresh or frozen)

6-8 ice cubes

Vanilla Almond milk or Rice Dream to desired slushy consistency

Adapted by Simply Fit Kitchen

BERRY POWER

2 scoops of Arbonne Vanilla Protein Powder + 1 scoop of Arbonne Fiber Boost

½ cup blueberries

¼ cup strawberries

¼ cup blackberries

1 medium carrot

1 cup almond milk

½-1 cup pomegranate juice (cranberry is an okay substitute)

1-2 cups ice (add more if necessary)

Adapted by Simply Fit Kitchen

KIWI LIME SHAKE

2 scoops of Arbonne Vanilla Protein Powder + 1 scoop of Arbonne Fiber Boost

Handful of sliced kiwis

Juice of 2 lime wedges (to intensify flavor, add lime zest)

6 -8 ice cubes

¼ cup coconut milk, Almond milk or Vanilla Rice Dream to desired consistency

Adapted by Simply Fit Kitchen

ALMOND JOY

2 scoops of Arbonne Chocolate Protein Powder + 1 scoop of Arbonne Fiber Boost

1 cup Almond milk

1 Tbsp Almond Butter

½ tsp coconut extract

6-8 ice cubes

Adapted by Simply Fit Kitchen

CINNA-BUN PROTEIN SHAKE

2 scoops of Arbonne Vanilla Protein Powder + 1 scoop of Arbonne Fiber Boost

1 tsp ground cinnamon

1 cup organic vanilla unsweetened almond milk

6-8 ice cubes

ALMOND CRUNCH

2 scoops of Arbonne Vanilla Protein Powder + 1 scoop of Arbonne Fiber Boost

1 cup unsweetened almond milk or rice milk

1 Tbsp slivered or sliced raw almonds

6-8 ice cubes

VANILLA CHAI

2 scoops of Arbonne Vanilla Protein Powder + 1 scoop of Arbonne Fiber Boost

1 cup of brewed decaf Chai tea

3 oz. almond milk + 6-8 ice cubes

“PISTACIO” DREAM

2 scoops of Arbonne Vanilla Protein Powder + 1 scoop of Arbonne Fiber Boost

1/2 cup water + 1/2 cup coconut milk

1/2 avocado

6-8 ice cubes

CARROT CAKE

2 scoops of Arbonne Vanilla Protein Powder + 1 scoop of Arbonne Fiber Boost

1 cup cooked, chopped carrots

1 Tbsp walnuts

1 tsp pumpkin pie spice or cinnamon

1 cup of water + 1 cup Almond milk

6-8 ice cubes

CHOCOLATE SPINACH CRUNCH

2 scoops of Arbonne Vanilla Protein Powder + 1 scoop of Arbonne Fiber Boost

9 oz. water

1 ½ - 2 handfuls of fresh spinach

6-8 hazelnuts

6-8 ice cubes

DOUBLE CHOCOLATE FIX

2 scoops of Arbonne Chocolate Protein Powder + 1 scoop of Arbonne Fiber Boost

1 cup unsweetened chocolate almond milk or rice milk

3/4 tsp flax oil

a pinch of unsweetened Cocoa nibs

1 tsp unsweetened cocoa powder

6-8 ice cubes

NUTTY APPLE CINNAMON

2 scoops of Arbonne Vanilla Protein Powder + 1 scoop of Arbonne Fiber Boost

1 cup unsweetened almond milk or rice milk

1/4 cup unsweetened applesauce; or 1/2 sour green apple, sliced

ground cinnamon, to taste

1 Tbsp raw pecans; or slivered/sliced raw almonds

6-8 ice cubes

SWEET VERRY BERRY

2 scoops of Arbonne Vanilla Protein Powder + 1 scoop of Arbonne Fiber Boost

1/4 cup organic coconut milk + 1/2 cup unsweetened almond or rice milk

8 oz water

1 Tbsp of almond butter

1/4 cup frozen or fresh berries

(optional: a pinch or two of unsweetened coconut shavings)

6-8 ice cubes

MOCHA SHAKE

2 scoops of Arbonne Chocolate Protein Powder + 1 scoop of Arbonne Fiber Boost

1/2 cup unsweetened almond milk or rice milk

1 Tbsp of almond butter

1 tsp instant decaf coffee crystals

6-8 ice cubes

  

BLACKBERRY TANG

2 scoops of Arbonne Vanilla Protein Powder + 1 scoop of Arbonne Fiber Boost

1/4 cup organic coconut milk + 1/2 cup unsweetened almond or rice milk

1 Tbsp of almond butter

1 pomegranate Arbonne fizzy tab, dissolved in 1/2 cup water

1/4 to 1/2 cup of fresh/frozen unsweetened blackberries

6-8 ice cubes

LEMON LIME FRESH

2 scoops of Arbonne Vanilla Protein Powder + 1 scoop of Arbonne Fiber Boost

1/4 cup organic coconut milk or unsweetened almond or rice milk

1/2 cup of water

1-2 tsp of stevia

1/2 a lemon/lime, peeled and sliced (*May add a few rind shavings for zing or use 1-2 Tbsp fresh lemon/lime juice)

6-8 ice cubes

BANANA/PEANUT BUTTER

2 scoops of Arbonne Vanilla Protein Powder + 1 scoop of Arbonne Fiber Boost

1/2 cup unsweetened almond or rice milk

1 Tbsp of natural peanut butter

1/2 medium banana

6-8 ice cubes

PUMPKIN SPICE

2 scoops of Arbonne Vanilla Protein Powder + 1 scoop of Arbonne Fiber Boost

3/4 cup unsweetened chocolate almond or rice milk

1/4 cup pumpkin puree

1 Tbsp pecans

Pumpkin pie spice, to taste

6-8 ice cubes

BAY COOLER

2 scoops of Arbonne Vanilla Protein Powder + 1 scoop of Arbonne Fiber Boost

4 oz. water

6 cherries

1/4 c. fresh pineapple chunks + 6-8 ice cubes

CHOCOLATE BERRY DELIGHT

2 scoops of Arbonne Chocolate Protein Powder + 1 scoop of Arbonne Fiber Boost

1/2 cup coconut milk

1/2 cup frozen mixed berries + 6-8 ice cubes

ITALIAN MELON

2 scoops of Arbonne Vanilla Protein Powder + 1 scoop of Arbonne Fiber Boost

1 small orange + 1 cup cubed cantaloupe

3 basil leaves

8 oz water + 6-8 ice cubes

ISLAND LIME

2 scoops of Arbonne Vanilla Protein Powder + 1 scoop of Arbonne Fiber Boost

1/2 pealed lime and 1/2 banana

1 bunch spinach

8 oz water + 6-8 ice cubes

PINA COLADA

2 scoops of Arbonne Vanilla Protein Powder + 1 scoop of Arbonne Fiber Boost

1/2 cup coconut milk

1/3 cup fresh pineapple chunks

1 tsp. coconut extract

4 oz water + 6-8 ice cubes

ORANGE CREAMSICLE

2 scoops of Arbonne Vanilla Protein Powder + 1 scoop of Arbonne Fiber Boost

4 oz. fresh orange juice

4 oz water + 6-8 ice cubes

FUZZY PEACH

2 scoops of Arbonne Vanilla Protein Powder + 1 scoop of Arbonne Fiber Boost

2 oz. coconut milk + 4 oz. water

1/2 c. frozen peaches

6-8 ice cubes

TRIPLE TROPIC

2 scoops of Arbonne Vanilla Protein Powder + 1 scoop of Arbonne Fiber Boost

½ peeled kiwi, ½ peeled mango, ½ cup fresh pineapple chunks

4 oz. water + 6-8 ice cubes

PAPAYA LIME

2 scoops of Arbonne Vanilla Protein Powder + 1 scoop of Arbonne Fiber Boost

½ lime, ½ cup papaya chunks, ½ golden passion fruit

8 oz. water + 6-8 ice cubes

BLACK FOREST

2 scoops of Arbonne Chocolate Protein Powder + 1 scoop of Arbonne Fiber Boost

1 cup unsweetened chocolate almond milk or rice milk

Pinch unsweetened cocoa nibs

1 tsp unsweetened cocoa powder

1/3 cup dark cherries (NOT maraschino!)

8 oz. water + 6-8 ice cubes

VEGGIE MAX

2 scoops of Arbonne Vanilla Protein Powder + 1 scoop of Arbonne Fiber Boost

Lightly steamed veggies: 1/2 carrot, 2 broccoli florets, 1 handful fresh spinach

½ apple, slice + ½ small orange, peeled

8 oz. water + 6-8 ice cubes

CHUNKY MONKEY

2 scoops of Arbonne Chocolate Protein Powder + 1 scoop of Arbonne Fiber Boost

½ medium banana

1 Tbsp almond butter

1 tsp ground flax seed

8 oz. water + 6-8 ice cubes

ORANGE PEAR

2 scoops of Arbonne Vanilla Protein Powder + 1 scoop of Arbonne Fiber Boost

½ cooked sweet potato

½ pear

a pinch of orange zest

8 oz. water + 6-8 ice cubes

Journal Center Toastmasters

I had the pleasure of visiting the Journal Center Toastmasters today! What drew me to this club is that they are right down the block from my office and meet on alternate Mondays during the lunch hour. It was a great opportunity to see the format in a club with a traditional structure. My home club, Off-The-Cuff, is delightfully non-traditional so naturally it's a good for for me, eh wot?

JTCers invited me to give a speech at this meeting, which is a great help as I work toward my Competent Communicator designation within the Toastmaster's program.  I opted to present my speech "Making Sense," which is an introduction to what Sensory Processing Disorder is and how those with SPD are challenged throughout their day.  

And guess what?  I won Top Speaker! They graced me with a trophy* and 100 Grand... *cough*  chocolate bar... mini... which I ate... and it was delicious..  

Hey, Off-The-Cuffers, maybe we should incorporate fun stuff like this into our meetings, too!

* It's not the size of the trophy that counts, right?  Right?

Modern Wintercakes

Well, GoT starts up again tonight, so what better time to make a few more recipes from A Feast of Ice and Fire: The Official Game of Thrones Companion Cookbook.

I thought this recipe would be pretty easy, and a good way to ease back into this project. There are a number of great recipes still to be made.

This recipe is in three parts:  The batter (THICK!), the bottom (a little crumbly), and the icing.

The first tricky thing here was dicing the candied ginger.  Candied ginger is so sticky on the inside of the pieces that it gummed up my my chopper pretty good. As a result, the pieces were larger than I wanted them to be. 

Rather than have the cake filled with ginger chunk land mines, I opted to include the ginger only in the bottom - this way it can either be enjoyed or easily picked out. 

This cake is very dense, and is almost like a scone.

Arbonne protein lava cake

Who says you can't have cake for breakfast?!?!

Arbonne protein lava cake in a mug! Ooooozing with goodness! Oil free, refined sugar free AND flour free. 

*note: to make 100% vegan, make a flax seed "egg" substitute. 


1 scoop Arbonne chocolate protein powder
1/2 teaspoon baking powder
1 tablespoon organic cocoa powder
1 egg white
1 tablespoon coconut milk

Microwave 45 sec to 1 minute on high (cooking time may vary), be careful not to over cook to ensure center is filled with delicious lava! Flip over on plate or eat right out of mug! Enjoy!!!

Strawberries and Sambuca

Yes, please!

Cut up some fresh strawberries

Add some sugar

Any kind of juice (orange/mango mix for example)

Add Sambuca, a good 2-4 oz depending on the amount of strawberries

Chill in firdge for a few hours before serving

I did not make this for myself.  YET. 

Marianne's overly complicated but totally worth it Cocktail Sauce

First of all, let's establish an understanding between us.

THESE are not "sugar" tongs.* 

(Banana** Quarter for scale)

As you can clearly see, THESE are horseradish tongs***

 I mention this 

because we will be using horseradish tongs*** today 

to prepare:

Marianne's 

overly-complicated

but totally-worth-it

Cocktail Sauce <tm>

First, 

using your horseradish tongs****, 

scoop a lot of horseradish 

into one of those little square dishes 

that you stole from that hotel in Vegas that time 

because you'd never seen anything like it before 

and HAD to take home because, for goodness sake,

they sure charged you enough for the room 

and for the spa treatments, didn't they? 

What's one lousy little square dish?***** 

Then... and this is vital... 

squirt some ketchup into that bad boy, 

and mix it together.

You heard me.

How much? I don't care.

You know what color your cocktail sauce should be, 

YOU figure it out.

Now.. and remember without this step it doesn't work... 

scoop it out of that bowl 

with cold shrimp and eat it. 

Eat it until it's all gone.

*Remind me to call someone "sugar tongs" at some point. That needs to happen. What up, there, sugar tongs?

**We didn't have any photogenic bananas. Apple? Nah. Tune in next time when Marianne cleans the years and years of built up tarnish off the sugar tongs.

*** or, if you are of the peasantry class, a SPOOOOOOOON!

**** Actually, they're named after whatever the heck I am using them for in the moment. A decade ago they were "lit charcoal for incense" tongs. That's a whole 'nother story.

***** And I KNOW I am not alone here, people. Don't look at me like that.  Just get your one-of-those or get a sake cup or shotglass or something and just tong-shovel that thing about 1/3 full with prepared horseradish.