#3 Oatbread

 

Googly eyed brachiosaurus for scale.

Sometimes my adventure in the kitchen goes very smoothly.  Others times, somewhat less so.* Pull up a chair and let me tell you what happened with the Oatbread...

 

It started out great.  Bob's Red Mill premium oats, chopped dates and apples. I opted to leave out the orange rind, because I really dislike orange rind in recipes, or really any citrus zest for that matter. 

Kneading the dense mixture was a fun workout for the fingers.  A glutenous, sticky stress ball of nutritious goodness. Time to let the dough rise.  So I cover it with a clean dish towel, put the bowl in a warm spot, and I wait.

And wait. Then I wait some more.  

Double in size the recipe said.  About an hour it said. 4 hours later, I'm looking at a ball that's maybe 10-15% bigger. I punch it anyway.  Just once, because I felt like it.

Hmm, I thought.  Either this recipe LIES, or something has gone awry.  And, as usual when something goes awry, the fault is mine. But in my defense, I am not a clever man.*



Some many years ago, I tried my hand at mead-making.  There were some spectacular successes ("Blueberry Port Mead", "Sparkling Cherry Noir", "Wild Woman White Wine") and some equally spectacular failures ("Good God, Make it Stop", "Radioactive Waste Sloughage" and "Suitable only for Moltov Cocktails. Do not consume").

I used a champagne yeast most often when making mead or wine, Lavlin EC 1118**. In the supply shop (unsolicited plug for Victor's Grape Arbor) and when I stored it at home, the yeast was always refrigerated. Always.

So, naturally I refrigerated my bread yeast. Guess what I just learned? That's a big no-no.  Ok, live and learn. Don't refrigerate baking yeast. Got it. But now what I do with this batch of unleavened Oatbread? Well, BAKE IT of course.  I didn't promise to execute each recipe perfectly, just to try them all.  So, in the oven they go!   

Fun fact: unleavened oatbread with apples and dates makes a fine substitute for elven lembas bread.
In case, you know, you're into that sorta thing.  Which for the record, I am.

Turns out that unleavened oatbread with apples and dates bakes up to be quite tasty, though rather dense. So I was left with only one option: call them scones.  

Voila! Oatbread Breakfast Scones: hearty, a little sweet, packed with fiber and potassium.  So does this count as Oatbread?  You bet your sweet bippy, it does!

Still life with Oatbread oat scones and pears.

* Also, not a man.
** As a friend once said, you could probably ferment a brick with Lavlin EC 1118. I'm sure he meant it as a compliment to Lavlin, but then again, we were drinking.